Somewhere along the way, the media presentation of fatherhood shifted. And not in a flattering manner. I say “somewhere” because I’m not really sure when it happened. I just know we went from “Father Knows Best” (yes, I know that is not always the case—but hold on…) to a two-dimensional character named after one of the most significant authors in human history. I may be one of the few on the planet who’ve never seen an episode of the longest-running animated show, but the message and the satire do not escape… I have a sense of humor (beyond “Dad jokes”) and a sense of the senseless.
Flawed heroes are endearing and relatable. But you need the hero part—not just the buffoon.
I’m not saying we go back in time to the suit-wearing, newspaper-reading, unflappable sage. What I am saying—or asking—what is the value of minimizing or diminishing one of the most vital roles in society in such a pervasive manner? Why doesn’t “a rising tide raises all ships” apply here? Poking fun is one thing. Keeping each other grounded or serving as a mirror is another… and needed (Consider “Alice” of the classic show, “The Honeymooners,” just before Ralph says, “Baby, you’re the greatest!”)
And we all have to ask that question that makes us pull our hoods over our foreheads: “What’s it like to be in a relationship with me?”
But from commercials to movies, the plethora of cheap shots that are now commonplace (and, for some consumers, so common as to be unnoticeable) goes to a darker space. A space in the shadows that allows the son or the young father on the edge of life-transforming decisions and sacrifices to wordlessly ask, “I wonder if I really matter?”
Once a father, you are always one. And you play a crucial role in a child’s life. And family… and therefore in the greater community as far and wide as you can imagine.
We are in troubled times and band-aids of external fixes will not help. It only creates more shadows. The absence of a father in person or spirit is one of the core issues–though we choose not to address this from inside-out… or say it out loud.
The diminishment of the role doesn’t help in a world of “influencers” and the four seconds of “reality” before the thumb does its thing. It makes the fork in the road muddier, and gives the illusion of a “one way.”
And “the road” remains less traveled.
Photo Credit: Liane Metzler (unsplash.com)
