On New Year’s Eve, my wife and I made the traditional appetizers for dinner and watched a movie. It’s a fun ritual we’ve had since before children. The only difference is the awake time. Back then we could bring in the New Year and smooch at midnight. It’s wonderful to know the constancy of who you’ll embrace to start another turn around the sun.

Last night we toughed it out until 10:30 PM. The midnight tradition came 90 minutes earlier, but that’s fine. Apparently, I was the only one awakened by the fireworks at midnight. I whispered “woo hoo” and rolled to the cool side of the pillow.

Radical as we are at our age, we went out for breakfast on New Year’s morning. I typically don’t eat breakfast and we rarely go to a restaurant at that time. I thought, “Hmm, this could be a new tradition.”  

As we approached the establishment, we bet on whether or not it was open since the link on their website wasn’t any help. Then I wondered if we’d have to wait with all the young, hungover celebrators filling the tables for coffee and carbs before heading home to sleep.

No wait. No all-nighters stuffed in booths. And a delightful young lady took good care of us.

In between the wonderful company, conversation, and too many jalapeños in my omelet, my wife and I caught glimpses of how times have changed. Two tables to our rear, two women talked loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear, the conversations peppered with assorted expletives despite the two preschool kids at the adjacent table. It reminded me of a similar scene many decades ago back in my days of waiting tables…

A table full of partiers was loud, rambunctious, and inconsiderate to the other diners. And they ran me like a hound. My boss could see I was frazzled, and at 16, I didn’t have the moxie to set them straight. My boss owned the place, and he was a massive human being. A construction worker by trade with arms so big he had to cut his shirt sleeves. He was part bear and part teddy bear and best to think carefully about which one you’d like to do business with.

He asked if they were giving me a hard time. I explained. He walked over. In a very calm and respectful voice, he said, “I see you’re giving my boy a hard time.” The crew didn’t sober enough to engage the teddy bear, so they were asked to leave. One of them snidely asked for the check to which my boss replied, “I don’t want your money. Just go.”

And they did.

Back to the present, I playfully considered: What if this were to happen right now, New Year’s Day 2023? I imagined a young manager promoted by the franchise owner having successfully kept their job for three months amidst high turnover, and having poured over the 300-page corporate manual of policies and procedures, walking to the said table. Kindly asking them to talk a bit quieter and refrain from slinging choice words, maybe have some manners. Just a dream. Reality: After the patrons told them what to do with these expectations, the manager would pick up the check for fear of bad reviews on social media. Then the manager would just smile (while policy1002.4 blared in their head: “the customer is always right”) and ask nicely if they would like more coffee.

I was hoping those customers would leave before us, but not so. The coffee was not the only thing bottomless. On the way out I noticed two servers on hands and knees picking up after a family who had left enough food and paper products on the floor in their wake to rival a frat house party. Not sure what type of gratuity would make up for that.

All is quiet as I write this piece quickly so I can remember not to forget: Go to bed at 10 pm next New Year’s Eve. Make sure breakfast items are well-stocked. Remind sons to pick up after themselves. Remind them (and myself) to follow one simple maxim: Leave it BETTER than you found it.

Happy New Year.